As a woman, you probably know exactly what you want to hear from your partner. Certain compliments and phrases just never get old—no matter how many times he says them. But you’ve also likely noticed that the sweet nothings that make you feel amazing don’t generally have the same effect when directed at your S.O.
Sure, guys like hearing that you love them and care deeply about them, but if you really want your words to hit home, you have to do some work to get inside his head. Instead of guessing at what might make your guy happy, take this expert-approved and science-backed advice on what he’ll never tire of hearing from you.
“The reality is that men like to feel needed,” says Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a certified relationship coach. “I’ve seen relationships struggle when the other partner acts as though they have no real need for their man. It makes men feel good when they know they can support their partner and be of service.” So if you want to ask his opinion on your next work presentation, can’t fix your car on your own, or need help planning your next vacation together, go ahead and ask.
Followed by something he does an amazing job at, especially if it’s in the moment. “Men like to be praised on their skills, so letting him know you think he is really good at something feels good to him,” says Carolyn Cole, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Chicago who specializes in relationships Examples? “You’re such an awesome cook,” or “You give the best back massages.” The more specific, the better. Also: sometimes a simple text will do the job.